Apostate
Abul Kasem -  |
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Sex and sexuality in Islam
(Part 1 of 6)
[A word of caution: This article contains sexually
explicit terms and coarse language that may
offend many readers. The author will not take
any responsibility in the event any reader may
become upset reading this essay. My request
to them: please do refrain from reading this
essay if you are likely to be offended. You
have been forewarned.]
Introduction
There is more to sex in Islam than meets the
eye. Do you care to know that sex is the biggest
taboo in Islam? It is a topic that is fraught
with fear and seldom discussed by the followers
of Islam, except when they are in trouble or
when they go to a foreign/infidel country to
‘enjoy’ women there. Islam pretends
as if sexual organs do not exit either in a
male or in a female. A woman is covered from
head to toe just to hide her ‘awra,’
which is the Islamic vocabulary for the part
of body that arouses sexual desire in a man,
or the ‘shame’ of her. Thus, sexual
organs are shameful parts of a body! It is a
great insult to a woman to depict her entire
body as shameful. It is also a great insult
to all men. Why? Because, this gives the impression
that men are like beasts that are on the street,
just on the lookout there for women to prowl
on for sex. This is completely nonsense. While
living in an infidel country, I have watched
millions of kufur women dressed in very decent,
as well as not so decent dresses. However, never
have I seen a single man jump on a woman in
the street to copulate with her, despite her
mode of dressing being aphrodisiac or in plain
word ‘sexy.’ The Islamic concept
of sex is based on Bedouin Arab culture, that
is barbaric and uncivilized, to say the least,
when compared to today’s world. This is
because sex is so a ‘dirty’ word
and it is so ‘severely’ restricted
in Islam that as a inquisitive person I became
extremely interested in it and devoured any
written material that dealt with sex in Islam.
To my surprise, I found that so little information
is available, although there are tons and tons
of books on Tafseer, ahadith Sharia, fiqh and
the list goes on for all other branches of Islamic
studies. Therefore, I had to write from scratch
without much help from Islamic/other sources.
Another big surprise for me was that the restrictions
on sex for men in Islam are just superficial.
There are countless loopholes in Islamic rules,
so much so that it is possible for a Muslim
man, whether married or not, to have uninterruptible
supply of sex if he so desires. But he must
know the rules of the game very well, if not,
then he may fall into a great torment. There
are many secrets and untold provisions for sex
in Islam that very few Mullahs will tell.
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How pleasant a quilt is in winter? Or a Chinese dish
for the test buds? Good poems, songs, arts, or sculptures
immensely please a cultured mind. Did you notice that
very rarely physical and mental pleasures meet in one
single element? Sex, as the climax of this type, always
has been one of the strongest driving forces of humankind,
especially men. Handling of sex by a society reflects
its level and maturity. At times Islamic aspect of human
sexuality overlaps with “Status of Women,”
but the two are not the same. Compared to other social/religious
systems of the world, Islam gives sex and sexual “purity”
an extraordinary importance with inherent contradictions/conflicts
so much so that we may safely say that Islam is over-obsessed,
oversensitive and over-apprehensive about sex.
This essay is an attempt to expose the hypocrisy, double
standard, unfairness, absurdity and sheer irrationality
of Islam when it comes to sex. It also examines the
barbaric rules that Islam inflicts on innocent people
for having a simple sexually satisfying relationship
whether one is married or not that Islam unjustly and
illogically construes as ‘haram.’ One must
not forget however how crucial sex is in our life. In
the first place, without sex, none of us will be in
this world for sure. Darwinian evolution would have
stopped eons ago! So think about it for a moment.
Let us begin with the first principle of Islamic sex
for men, that is:
Have virgins
for fun and frolic
In Islam, keeping the virginity is the highest asset
that a woman could possess. There is no crime/sin as
despicable as that of losing the virginity before a
woman is married. The thought of indulging in pre-marital
sex by an adult woman is absolutely unthinkable in Islam
(For men it is a different story altogether. As we shall
see later, it is possible for an unmarried Muslim man
to be engaged in sex with slave-girls/captive/infidel
women but not with free Muslim women). Mind you, premarital
sex is a serious crime that may involve severe punishment
for the offender; one hundred Islamic lashing for the
unmarried woman (or man) and stoning to death for the
married woman (or man). This punishment is hudud, which
means that there is no way the offender can escape the
severity of this kind of barbaric torment. Once the
punishment has been passed down, it must be carried
out at any cost. So much for Islamic mercy and tolerance!
If you thought that I am being too critical, then !please
be reminded that in Islam, homicide is not such a serious
offence as sex is. That is to say, the punishment for
a murder can be commuted to other sentence like Qias
(retaliation) or Diya (blood money). Now contrast this
if you will, with the laws for sexual offences. It looks
like that taking a life is much simpler and easier than
making love, especially for women, if we go by the Islamic
rules. How barbaric and at the same time myopic view!
Who do you think is the ‘real’ owner of
our sexual organs, in particular the sexual organs of
women? No, it is not we, the humankinds. It is Islam.
Believe it or not, Islam owns the sexual organs of every
Muslim man and woman in this universe, all of it, including
even the pubic hairs that grow there! Here is what the
ahadith say about how to manage a woman’s pubic
hair.
Wife must shave pubic hair if husband returns home
at night after a long journey...7.62.173
Sahih Bukhari:Volume 7, Book 62, Number 173:
Narrated Jabir bin 'Abdullah:
The Prophet said, "If you enter (your town) at
night (after coming from a journey), do not enter upon
your family till the woman whose husband was absent
(from the house) shaves her pubic hair and the woman
with unkempt hair, combs her hair" Allah's Apostle
further said, "(O Jabir!) Seek to have offspring,
seek to have offspring!" Five practices of fitra
1. Circumcision; 2. Shaving pubic region; 3. Clipping
nails 4. Cutting mustache short; 5. Removal of arm pit
hair...7.72.777
Sahih Bukhari: Volume 7, Book 72, Number 777:
Narrated Abu Huraira:
Allah's Apostle said, "Five practices are characteristics
of the Fitra: circumcision, shaving the pubic region,
clipping the nails and cutting the moustaches short."
One may wonder why Allah is so free to look into what
a human possesses between his/her two thighs. We always
thought Allah has more important affairs to attend to!
If you ever thought that Allah gave you the sexual
organ for your use as per your desire, then perish that
thought. From birth to death, from adulthood to old
age, from house to desert, every aspect of the use of
your very own private part is controlled by innumerable,
mindless, cruel and oftentimes utterly despicable Islamic
rules as written in the Sha’ria, the so-called
divine laws of Allah. One may legitimately ask why Sha’ria
does not control the use of sexual organs of animals
like cows, goats, horses, pigs, lions, tigers, birds,
snakes, turtles and all other species that engage in
copulation for fun and/or reproduction. It looks as
if the animals have much more freedom on sexual activities
than the human beings—the best creation of Allah!
Please give a serious thought on this and you cannot
but be amazed by the downright infringement by Islam
on the very basic right of a human being which is his/her
privacy. The extreme barbarism in Islam to control the
innate, natural and instinctive sexual desire and its
joy is particularly aimed at keeping the virginity of
women intact at all cost even going to the extreme of
execution of a woman who dare to express her sexual
desire in an un-Islamic (read pre-marital or otherwise)
way.
One may wonder why Islam is so utterly obsessed with
the virginity of women. I often thought about this after
I came to the infidel land. In this land of ‘sinners’
and ‘prostitutes’ and ‘sluts,’
sex between consenting adults is not viewed as a crime,
although application of physical force for carnal gratification
may constitute a serious act of violence, which may
carry prison sentence. In an Islamic paradise, on the
other hand, sex between two opposite partners (or same
sex partners) is absolutely haram whether consensual
or not. More importantly, sexual gratification by a
woman outside the bond of marriage is completely forbidden.
Many Muslims who come to live in a western society will
have great difficulty in understanding the values and
ethos upon which their (the so called infidel west)
concept of sexuality of men and women are based upon.
To these Muslim men, most women who indulge in sex before
their marriage are prostitutes, harlots, and whores
and are available for an easy lay!. That is why a lot
of devout Muslim men have a hard time to have easy and
professional relations with the western/infidel women
they meet. For a Muslim man, a non-virgin woman is totally
unthinkable for his consideration of marriage. These
infidel women are for having a good time and for ‘one-night
stand’ only. According to Islam, an unmarried
woman must keep her sexual and reproductive organ in
complete lock under any and all circumstances till she
gets married. I gave a deep pondering over this issue
of blatant deprivation of sexual joy in the name of
Allah and religion. Then, while examining the Sahi Bukhari
and Sahi Muslim, the most authentic of all ahadith,
I came across with the following gems of ahadith. I
found the reason why Allah is so paranoid on keeping
intact the virginity of women at all times before marriage.
Let us read these ahadith.
Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 16:
Narrated Jabir bin Abdullah:
While we were returning from a Ghazwa (Holy Battle)
with the Prophet, I started driving my camel fast, as
it was a lazy camel A rider came behind me and pricked
my camel with a spear he had with him, and then my camel
started running as fast as the best camel you may see.
Behold! The rider was the Prophet himself. He said,
'What makes you in such a hurry?" I replied, I
am newly married " He said, "Did you marry
a virgin or a matron? I replied, "A matron."
He said, "Why didn't you marry a young girl so
that you may play with her and she with you?" When
we were about to enter (Medina), the Prophet said, "Wait
so that you may enter (Medina) at night so that the
lady of unkempt hair may comb her hair and the one whose
husband has been absent may shave her pubic region.
Sahih Bukhari Volume 3, Book 38, Number 504:
Narrated Jabir bin 'Abdullah:
I was accompanying the Prophet on a journey and was
riding a slow camel that was lagging behind the others.
[...] When we approached Medina, I started going (towards
my house). The Prophet said, "Where are you going?"
I said, "I have married a widow." He said,
"Why have you not married a virgin to fondle with
each other?"[...]
Sahih Muslim Book 008, Number 3459:
Jabir b. 'Abdullah (Allah be pleased with them) reported:
I married a woman, whereupon Allah's Messenger (may
peace be upon him) said to me: Have you married? I said:
Yes. He said: Is it a virgin or a previously married
one (widow or divorced)? I said: With a previously married
one, whereupon he said: Where had you been (away) from
the amusements of virgins? Shu'ba said: I made a mention
of it to 'Amr b. Dinar and he said: I too heard from
Jabir making mention of that (that Allah's Apostle)
said: Why didn't you marry a girl, so that you might
sport with her and she might sport with you?
Please read these three ahadith once again. What picture
do we get of a husband who is gracious enough in marrying
a widow? Now contrast this with the recommendation of
Muhammad (pbuh), the Prophet of Islam. What picture
do we get of a husband who is obsessed in marrying a
virgin possibly a very young virgin for that matter?
Yes, it is the picture of a husband who is a molester,
a sexual molester per se, if we say it bluntly. Remember,
this is the recommendation from the messenger of Allah,
who, himself had only one virgin girl in his harem.
He must have found it exceedingly fun to be married
with a very young virgin girl. This kind of child/female/sexual
molestation must have the seal of approval of Allah,
the almighty. Can this pleasure of sexual molestation
be the real reason for Allah’s absolute obsession
with the virginity of young women? Can it be that Allah,
Himself loves to fondle the virgins, since we read in
the Quran that He has an abundant supply of virgin houris
for His followers of Islam? Here are a few samples of
verses from the holy Qur’an to demonstrate Allah’s
total fascination with the virginity of women.
044.051 As to the Righteous (they will be) in a position
of Security,
044.052 Among Gardens and Springs;
044.053 Dressed in fine silk and in rich brocade, they
will face each other;
044.054 So; and We shall join them to fair women with
beautiful, big, and lustrous eyes.
055.056 In them will be (Maidens), chaste, restraining
their glances, whom no man or Jinn before them has touched;-
055.057 Then which of the favours of your Lord will
ye deny?-
055.058 Like unto Rubies and coral.
055.072 Companions restrained (as to their glances),
in (goodly) pavilions;-
055.073 Then which of the favours of your Lord will
ye deny?-
055.074 Whom no man or Jinn before them has touched;-
055.075 Then which of the favours of your Lord will
ye deny?-
056.035: We have created (their Companions) of special
creation.
056.036 And made them virgin - pure (and undefiled),
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056.037 Beloved (by nature), equal in age,-
056.038 For the Companions of the Right Hand.
078.031 Verily for the Righteous there will be a fulfillment
of (the heart's) desires;
078.032 Gardens enclosed, and grapevines;
078.033 And voluptuous women of equal age;
078.034 And a cup full (to the brim).
Now you know why one must marry a virgin and a very
young woman, for that matter. Yes, it is for fun and
pleasure, similar to the enjoyment that Allah enjoys
and has reserved for the ‘true’ believers
in His paradise.
One-night stand
Who needs sex in a hurry but does not want to go through
the elaborate ritual of marriage and the payment of
expensive dower? Of course, many people would love to
have this kind of quickie sex without much obligations.
No wonder that there are so many women engaged in the
world’s oldest profession just to meet this demand
from depraved men. In modern parlance, we call it ‘one-night’
stand. Believe it or not, Islam has its equivalence
too!
The Islamic counterpart of one-night stand is known
as the M’uta marriage. In this kind of contract
marriage, a man simply contracts a woman to sleep with
him for a brief period only. Although the Sunnis have
banned the M'uta system, it is very much in practice
among the Shiites. It is quite possible to have a M'uta
marriage every night and kick the woman out next morning.
There is no need of divorce in a M'uta marriage. This
type of marriage is a contract to sleep together and
that is all. Also, remember that though there is a restriction
of up to four permanent wives at any time, there is
no such restriction on the number of temporary wives
that one can have at any given moment. In modern language,
we call this 'one night stand'. M’uta marriage
has absolutely no time limit either. So, "one-night's
play" is perfectly Islamic. With M’uta system,
it is possible to have unlimited, non-stop sex round
the clock. It is stated that Imam Hasan, the grandson
of Muhammad (pbuh) c!ollected up to three hundred sex
partners (the Islamic terminology is temporary wives)
besides his regular wives, to have one-night stand with
them. Imam Hasan was definitely an Islamic 'Playboy'
of his time. No doubt about it! See, how clever of Islam
to have solution even for the playboys of their Ummah.
Here I am quoting from a Sahi hadis to show how one
can have concubines for one-night stand
Sahih Muslim Book 008, Number 3253:
Rabi' b. Sabra reported that his father went on an expedition
with Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) during
the Victory of Mecca, and we stayed there for fifteen
days (i. e. for thirteen full days and a day and a night),
and Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) permitted
us to contract temporary marriage with women. So I and
another person of my tribe went out, and I was more
handsome than he, whereas he was almost ugly. Each one
of us had a cloaks, My cloak was worn out, whereas the
cloak of my cousin was quite new. As we reached the
lower or the upper side of Mecca, we came across a young
woman like a young smart long-necked she-camel. We said:
Is it possible that one of us may contract temporary
marriage with you? She said: What will you give me as
a dower? Each one of us spread his cloak. She began
to cast a glance on both the persons. My companion also
looked at her when she was casting a glance at her side
and he said: This cloak of his is worn out, wherea!s
my cloak is quite new. She, however, said twice or thrice:
There is no harm in (accepting) this cloak (the old
one). So I contracted temporary marriage with her, and
I did not come out (of this) until Allah's Messenger
(may peace be upon him) declared it forbidden.
Mu’tah means enjoyment---(ref.6, p. 424)MU’TAH.
Lit. “Usufruct, enjoyment.” A marriage contracted
for a limited period, for a certain sum of money. Such
marriages are still legal amongst the Shi’ahs,
and exist in Persia (Malcom’s Persia vol.II.p.
591) to the present day, but they are said to be unlawful
by the Sunnis. They were permitted by the Arabian Prophet
at Autas, and are undoubtedly the greatest stain upon
the moral legislation but the Sunnis say that he afterwards
prohibited a mu’tah marriage at Khaibar (Vide
Mishkat, book xii. Ch iv. Pt2.).
Sexual perversion/fetish
What should you do when you see a sexy, voluptuous
woman with her pulchritudinous figure and your sexual
desire is aroused intensely? The Islamic solution is
to hurry home to your wife and have intercourse with
her immediately. In these days of easy availability
of pornographic/adult materials and fetish objects,
I wonder how many times one may have to run to one’s
wife/s after watching a ‘stag film’ or reading
a ‘smut’ magazine. Here is the hadis that
tells us the story.
Sahih Muslim Book 008, Number 3240:
Jabir reported that Allah's Messenger (may peace be
upon him) saw a woman, and so he came to his wife, Zainab,
as she was tanning a leather and had sexual intercourse
with her. He then went to his Companions and told them:
The woman advances and retires in the shape of a devil,
so when one of you sees a woman, he should come to his
wife, for that will repel what he feels in his heart.
Oh, those obligatory
Ghusls
If a man is so much obsessed with the desire of sexual
gratification, then he must clean himself by bath, the
Islamic method of cleaning oneself after sexual defilement.
Imagine how many times you may have to do that if you
are influenced by fetish and hurry to your wife/s to
have the ‘circumcised parts’ touch each
other? Here is the Islamic rule on cleansing oneself
after a sexual union.
Sahih Muslim Book 3, Number 0684:
Abu Musa reported: There cropped up a difference
of opinion between a group of Muhajirs (Emigrants and
a group of Ansar (Helpers) (and the point of dispute
was) that the Ansar said: The bath (because of sexual
intercourse) becomes obligatory only-when the semen
spurts out or ejaculates. But the Muhajirs said: When
a man has sexual intercourse (with the woman), a bath
becomes obligatory (no matter whether or not there is
seminal emission or ejaculation). Abu Musa said: Well,
I satisfy you on this (issue). He (Abu Musa, the narrator)
said: I got up (and went) to 'A'isha and sought her
permission and it was granted, and I said to her: 0
Mother, or Mother of the Faithful, I want to ask you
about a matter on which I feel shy. She said : Don't
feel shy of asking me about a thing which you can ask
your mother, who gave you birth, for I am too your mother.
Upon this I said: What makes a bath obligatory for a
person ? She replied: You have come across one well
informed! The Messenger!of Allah (may peace be upon
him) said: When anyone sits amidst four parts (of the
woman) and the circumcised parts touch each other a
bath becomes obligatory.
When he reaches the climax but she doesn’t (or
vice versa)Here is the Islamic solution for unfulfilled
or incomplete sexual pleasure. Please amuse yourself
reading these two ahadith if you have experienced this
bedroom problem.
Sahih Muslim Book 3, Number 0677:
Ubayy Ibn Ka'b reported: I asked the Messenger of Allah
(may peace be upon him) about a man who has sexual intercourse
with his wife, but leaves her before orgasm. Upon this
he (the Holy Prophet) said: He should wash the secretion
of his wife, and then perform ablution and offer prayer.
Sahih Muslim Book 3, Number 0680:
Zaid b. Khalid al-Jubani reported that he askad Uthman
b. 'Affan: What is your opinion about the man who has
sexual intercourse with his wife, but does not experience
orgasm? Uthman said: He should perform ablution as he
does for prayer, and wash his organ. 'Uthmin also said
: I have heard it from the Messenger of Allah (may peace
be upon him).
More corny stuff about ‘Sex and sexuality in
Islam’ will continue in part 2/6. Therefore, stay
tuned.
References
1.The Holy Quran; Translation by A. Yusufali, Pickthal,
Shakir
http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/quran/
2.Shahih Bukhari; Translation by Dr. Muhammad Muhsin
Khan
http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/fundamentals/hadithsunnah/bukhari/
3.Shahih Muslim; Translation by Abdur Rahman Siddiqui
http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/fundamentals/hadithsunnah/muslim/
4.Sunaan Abu Dawud; Translation by Prof. Ahmad Hasan
http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/fundamentals/hadithsunnah/abudawud/
5.Malik’s Muwatta Translators A’sha Abdurrahman
at-Tarjumana andYa’qub Johnson
http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/fundamentals/hadithsunnah/muwatta/
6.A Dictionary of Islam, 1994 by T.P Hughes; Publisher
Kazi
Publications, Inc. 3023-27 West Belmont Avenue, Chicago,
IL 60618
7.Al-Ghazali’s Ihya’ Ulum al-Din (abridged
by Abd el Salam Haroun),
1997; Revised and Translatd by Dr. Ahmad A. Zidan;
Published and
Distributed by: Islamic Inc. P.O. Box 1636, Cairo,
Egypt.
8.Reliance of the Traveller (Revised edition), 1999
by Ahmad ibn Naqib
al Misri; Edited by Nuh Ha Mim Keller; Published by
Amana Publicatios,
Belltsville, Maryland U.S.A
9.Sharia the Islamic Law, 1998 by Abdur Rahman I. Doi;
Publisher A.S.
Noordeen, G.P.O. Box No. 10066, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia]
10.SIRAT RASUL ALLAH by Ibn Ishaq Translated by A.
Guillaume. Fifteenth
Impression, 2001 Published by Oxford University Press,
Karachi,
Pakistan
11.THE HEDAYA COMMENTARY ON THE ISLAMIC LAWS (reprint
1994) Translated by Charles Hamilton, Published by Kitab
Bhaban , 1784 Kalan Mahal,
Darya Ganj, New Delhi 110002 [India]
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Abul Kasem writes from Sydney, Australia. His e-mail
address is –
abul88@hotmail.com
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