Apostate
Murtad Mama
-
 |
|
|
Testimonial
Me and Islam
Before you read my story below, I would like
you to know that a lot of details are omitted
to prevent people finding out who I am, etc.
Some individuals and organizations may use my
detailed info to hurt me in some way –
just because I do not think Islam is right for
me.
My parents made Malaysia their permanent home
and that is where I was born and raised. By
the laws in Malaysia, whoever is Malay or has
a Malay ethnic background, they have to be Moslem.
Since, my dad is Malay, our whole family in
Malaysia was registered as Moslem and had no
other choice but to be Moslem.
In regular school (from grade 1 to university),
we had to learn Islam over and over. From age
8-11, I was also sent to religious school (every
day except weekends) in addition to regular
school, which I hated! I hate to wear the veil
because it is hot and humid all year long in
Malaysia. I recall making fun of the teacher
in religious school at the age of 11 because
she kept on talking about nonsense (which she
seemed to believe in). At least I just went
to religious school from age 8-11 (other kids
go from age 7-12). I probably started late because
my parents wanted to see if I could handle regular
school alone. And I quit at age 11 because I
wanted to do sports and the religious school’s
headmaster didn’t want to let me take leave
for sports practice. So, my parents said, “Hey!
quit then”, which is good. My siblings
had to go up to age 12. But they were in a religious
school that was only 3 times a week and only
2 hours a day instead of 4-5 hours.
|
|
|
In addition to all that, my parents insisted I learn
the Koran. I hated that too because I hated reading
Arabic and I have no idea what it is about. So, what
is the point of it? My parents just wanted me to be
able to do well in religious studies at school and not
feel left out among other children in Malaysia. Anyway,
I used to make the Koran teachers want to quit coming
to our house to teach. My mom has a lot of stories to
tell when it comes to me making the Koran teachers want
to quit. Later on, my dad would have a cane out (to
beat me) to make sure I was learning the Koran and not
making the teachers want to quit. This is another thing
I used to do, when I changed teachers (because I made
them quit by giving them a hard time) I used to flip
the pages of the Koran a whole lot (hundreds of pages)
and mark the page there as where the last teacher stopped.
So, the new teacher would start a page, which is hundreds
of pages after the one I last read. That way I finished
the Koran fast and didn’t have to worry about wasting
time on nonsense. Sometimes, I would do the same thing
even if I didn’t change teachers. I would try to
trick the same teacher. Anyway, my parents still think
I managed to go through the whole book.
Since I was young, I was doubtful about this whole
Islam thing. With all the bizarre things going on according
to the religious teachers and its difficult rituals,
Islam was a nightmare to me. I recall one day (probably
when I was about 11 yrs old) the Koran teacher was telling
me we should believe in Allah, the prophets, the 4 books,
etc. I told him that we only have to “believe”
in them without knowing if they exist?! So, he must
believe in them without knowing if they exist.
In all schools, the teachers used to teach us that
all non-Moslems (kafirs) are going to hell. When I told
my parents this, they got mad. They said that isn’t
true. The teachers are not god to judge who is going
to hell or not. I think my parents just think the Koran
teaches good things but they don’t know themselves
what is in there because they didn’t study it.
During my dad’s time, no religious studies were
taught in school.
For secondary school, I went to a school that is multiracial
and multi-religion. I began to make friends with people
that were not Moslem. They were very nice people. Nicer
than the Moslems. They always respected me and never
forced me to do anything religion wise. The Moslems
were forcing me to practice Islam and giving me a hard
time. I finally realized something was wrong with the
idea that all-Moslems will end up in heaven one day
but never the non-Moslems. So, I decided that Islam
is nonsense. Why is it that good people go to hell and
bad ones go to heaven? Just because of what religion
they follow? Not everyone is given the same chance to
learn Islam. I realized my true friends in secondary
school were never Moslem.
A factor that contributed towards me leaving Islam
is the fact that women HAVE to wear veils. They claim
it is so that men don’t look at sexy women, etc.
It is to protect the women from men staring at them,
etc. Well hey, there are Moslem men that turn me on/get
me sexually aroused and they don’t have to wear
a veil and cover up! I wish they would so that I can
concentrate on other things rather than them. But this
isn’t in Islam for the men.
When I was in my last year in secondary school, we
had to take the national exams. For Islamic Education,
I had to study about marriage in detail to do well.
So, I learnt all the stuff and got the highest grade
anyone can get for Islamic Education. And guess what?
Because I know it so well, I know that there is a lot
of discrimination against women in Islam. Things like
a father and grandfather can marry a girl/woman to whomever
they want even if the girl/woman doesn’t want to
marry that person. That is disgusting! A man can beat
his wife (after giving her advice and sleeping apart)
if she doesn’t do whatever he wants her to sounds
horrible to me too. I am a person that is strongly against
corporal punishment on children because of my own personal
experience and certainly against women! In addition,
I learned things like women couldn’t be witnesses
in Syariah Courts and things like that.
Since there are parts that are horrible in Islam, I
do not accept it as the true religion. Plus, the religion
is extremely difficult for me to practice if I want
to be comfortable with my lifestyle. So, that is why
I choose not to be Moslem. This has cost me a lot. I
had to give up an education in a better university than
the one I am attending now, a guaranteed respectable
job, and everything I have in Malaysia to live in a
foreign country. This is going to sound crazy but -
I actually married another Moslem apostate from Malaysia
so that he would help me move to this new home country
of mine as he had the money and in return he could stay
here safely. This has disadvantages – like it is
hard to get other men to date me if they know I have
a “husband”. Hey, if Malaysian Moslems find
out that we are not Moslem, many would torture us in
some way. In Malaysia, there are Pusat Pemulihan Akidah’s
or Faith Rehabilitation Centers and perhaps even the
death penalty (in 1-2 Malaysian states only) for Moslem
apostates. I even gave up my Malaysian citizenship to
be safer. The fact that Malaysian Moslems want to hurt
us hurts me a lot because, why do they have to hurt
us just because we view Islam differently? We wouldn’t
have treated them badly or anything. My “husband”
said that they know their religion is nonsense. So,
anyone who tries to reveal this is somehow “changed”
or killed to avoid more people knowing that it is nonsense.
They are just so insecure about their religion that
they have to get rid of people who know the truth about
it!
After reading the Faith Freedom International and ISIS
website and confirming it by reading a translation of
the Koran in English (translated by a Moslem!) and other
translations online, I realized that there is more crap
in the Koran than I have thought– all this killing
the non-believers, keeping captives (slaves) and having
sex with them, etc. Even the Hadiths have a lot of inhumane
stuff and I don’t think they should be considered
100% true as they are based on what he or she said hundred
years ago.
Currently, I am a person of no religion. Many Moslem
apostates who have been hurt and/or seen people get
hurt in the name of Islam think that Islam should be
totally destroyed. Of course, it would be great if it
is possible. However, all I ask for from Moslems is
freedom of religion, as I know that would help reduce
the number of people suffering. Plus, if Islam were
so great like Moslems claim, people would want to believe
in it and practice it anyway without being forced.
Murtad Mama
|
