I was born in a nearby village of Muzzafar
Gadh, Pakistan in 1966. I graduated from Peshawar
University in 1985, traveled many Western and
and am now working as computer graphics operator
in Lahore. We have a big family with uncountable
blood relatives; almost all of them are hardliner
Muslim Fundamentalists, living within the Multan
A Philosopher once said “If you push
a wall slightly with your finger and it falls
down, never think that it happened due to just
your finger touching it. The wall had already
been pushed many times before and was just
waiting for your finger to push it before it
fell down”. It happened to me.
When we moved from the village to the nearby
city, a village’s barber started to
come for our hair cutting twice a month as
my father never trusted the city’s
barbers. Once, the barber could not come.
My father ordered me to go to the city barber
for my hair cutting, saying, “Never
let him cut your hair in English Style. You
must do it in Round Shape, like Mullahs,
in Islamic style”. I assured him and
when I sat on the barber’s chair, I
requested him twice to act as per my father’s
instructions. But the poor barber could not
understand difference between English & Islamic
Hair Style and when I saw my cutting from
behind I screamed with terror. Oh my! He
had made it in English style. I wept with
tear with fear and panic and left the surprised
barber. I wandered here and there because
I was afraid to go home.
Anyhow at evening when I reached home, my
father saw my cutting style and
beat me hard without hearing my explanation.
I was in 3rd Grade at that time and my class
fellows always smiled on me calling me ‘Mullah’.
I gave up that hairstyle soon after death of
my father in 5th Class but class fellows continuously
annoyed me by calling ‘Mullah’ until
I was in high school.
My father acted well on a Hadith, which orders
parents to beat their children if they don’t
say their prayers 5 times a day. He ordered
me to memorize whole prayer in Arabic. I
could not since I have no interest and charm
memorizing it in an un-known language, but
to avoid physical punishment, I pretended
to say prayers 5 times daily. I prayed nothing
but just acted.
One day when I finished prayer a bit sooner,
father doubted me and ordered me to say the
prayer loudly. Consequently again I was being
beaten up hard. It was my first surprise that
why GOD didn’t punish me directly instead
of father because this matter was related to
I was sent to Mosque for Quranic education.
There I saw a white bearded old man who performed
5 times prayer in that mosque and remained
there late hours after prayers. Once he halted
me inside main hall of mosque, picked me
up and sucked my tongue for a long time.
I became afraid, could not understand and
could not resist. But GOD knew all; he should
be merciful at least towards children, if
not towards sanctity of mosque… but
He did noting. I was in 4-5th Grade at that
After the death of my father, my elder brother
forced me to fast during the Holy month of
Ramadan. I didn’t like to be hungry
and thirsty the whole day for any reason.
Thus I refused but again I was beaten up.
So I pretended to fast but actually I would
drink water from the Mosque and ate bread
from the Kitchen behind closed doors. That
time I was in 6th grade.
AND THERE ARE STILL MANY MORE SHOCKS …………… it
is a very long story, but let me come
to the end now.
We 7 Pakistani
Muslims are chatting in a Japanese Kitchen.
It is mid of 1989, around 8 PM. Suddenly our
Japanese owner comes inside and joins us. We
are talking about religion, Muhammad, GOD and
Islam. He listens to us for a while then requests
me for a translation. I explain him the ideology
of Islam and much more about ALLAH (GOD). After
listening to my lecture carefully for 15 minutes,
he announces “I DON’T
NEED GOD” (“Khamisama iira nai”).
I’m stunned, we are all stunned.
I look around frightfully but nothing happens
from ALLAH. Everything remains as usual. There
is one smiling face… and that is our
hard working Japanese owner…
And dear! The wall of my Islamic belief and
faith came down at last.
That was the time of my conversion from Islam… I
turned at once at that moment … and
day-by-day I realized that Islam is an evil.
It orders to kill an apostate which is non-sense.
This is unacceptable for a normal and sensible
person and a naked attack on human rights and
freedom of expression.
I am a busy person but I am free for innocent
Muslims especially from Pakistan because I
know the poor guys have been brain washed by
Islamic Fundamentalists. I probably cannot
save you from current live devils (mullahs,
fundamentalists) but believe me; at least,
I can save you from HELLFIRE, as it does not
exist. I don’t want to waste your precious
teenage time wasting in the type of crap which
I experienced in your age.
Let your elders live in past (Islamic) world
and join this brilliant world. It is alive,
it is current, it is so beautiful. Just enjoy,
never think 14 centuries ago, just think today
and tomorrow. Time will never be back. Believe
me. You can write
to me through this
website and I will reply BUT I apologize for
not responding to emails containing “death
threats” … not due to fear but
due to time shortage ……. :) Actually!
I am not afraid of death, as I know nothing
will happen NEXT, … there is no DOOMS
DAY :). I am an Atheist after all and thus….
enjoying my life DAILY.
Bye… :) :) :)